Working with drama at the office is one of many worst parts of being an executive. It gets the potential to suck the life out of you, and to kill your motivation, and for a lot of my clients, it leaves them wondering: "Why did I choose this career?" The very best exemplory case of that is one my clients - we will call him John.
John is the CEO of a manufacturing company. He hates drama. You can literally see his skin crawl when he talks about it. His face scrunches up. His shoulders tighten and he winces when he talks about the latest drama of the day. "I just don't get it. What is everyone's problem? Why can't they just do their work? It's like working with children." Then his body crumbles, and he looks defeated. Exhausted. Helpless. Weighed down.
We are able to all relate solely to John. We've all experience political situations that individuals prefer to forget. Those instances when we're caught in a pinnacle of workplace drama - anyone is upset, gossip in the corporation is rampant, and we feel such as a ping pong ball as we bounce around trying to produce sense of the issue. So, what is an executive to complete? If you are caught in drama, how do you escape this dark hole?
First off, let's discuss what never to do. John illustrates this well. Each time John experiences drama, he avoids it. He literally shuts down. His face goes blank. He starts to squirm, and he typically nods in a placating way. And in addition, the placating nod does the most harm. When he nods, people feel understood, however when John he takes no action, they get mad. End result? They attack John. Dramacool They whisper in the lunch room: "What's his problem? He doesn't do anything!" Some people get angry. The irony is that now individuals have a brand new issue to bond around - John's deadbeat behaviour. It is not surprising that John has 45% turnover in his company. Not good.
So, that which was John doing wrong? Well, a couple of things. For starters, he distanced himself from the drama to the stage that he escalated the problem. By distancing himself, John became the main drama problem because nothing got managed in a constructive way.
One of many basic principles of working with drama at the office is to identify your emotional patterns whenever you encounter drama and to identify how your typical reaction contributes to the problem. Does it escalate it? Enable others? Or diffuse it? If John could self-manage his reactions better, he could have taken an alternative tactic when employees stumbled on him about issues. He would have expressed confidence within their ability to take care of the situation constructively, facilitated the development of a behavioural code of conduct, or introduced a skilled third party to greatly help them. Instead, he was so busy managing their own anxiety, nothing got done.
Second, he created a "drama triangle" - a seductive high energy interaction which includes blaming, defensive behaviour, and rescuing. Drama triangles are recognizably consistent no real matter what the important points of the situation and they include the next roles:
The Persecutor: "This company is such a hole." "I can't believe the caliber of management." "It is all John's fault." "That VP, Sales is just a real idiot." All the vitality switches into finding someone or something to blame for the company's problems. Blaming another person makes people feel much better and, of course, it means others have to improve, not you.
The Victim: "I tried my best." "I couldn't get through." "They did this to me." Here is the victim in the drama. They work with a helpless tone, and don't take personal responsibility. They might search for anyone to rescue them, or to blame, in order to remove their negative feelings.
The Rescuer: Rescuers need a prey to feel good. They are "do-gooders" without boundaries. "I'd like to fix this. I'd like to take this on." "I could save the day." "I'd like to rescue this poor person who had been hard done by." Rescuers may try to greatly help people without having to be asked, or they take a twisted pleasure in getting their nose into other people's drama.
Most people learn the ability of being a persecutor, victim, or rescuer as children and they continue doing this behaviour within their career without having to be alert to it. As an executive, in the event that you take part in this behaviour or answer it, you will escalate the drama and there will be a price to pay for - people won't want to do the job, you will feel drained at the office, and you will develop a negative culture.
To break the cycle, you'll need to create the tone of personal accountability, respect, choice, and principled behaviour in your organization and work culture. Here are a few specific tactics:
- Watch out for drama triangles and begin to look closely at who is playing the role of persecutor, victim, and rescuer. Be mindful which role you tend to play.
-Consider the payoff in your organization to take on a specific role. Are people "bonding" together when they've another person to blame? Are they avoiding working with the complexity of issues by blaming anyone? Do the "victims" get pity? Do people feel sorry for them, or stay clear, thereby providing them with power? Are you creating dependence in your organization by rescuing people? Self-righteousness?
- Explore what is being avoided by participating in the drama. Exist some deeper issues in the corporation that have to be addressed? In that case, what're they?
- Notice your reactions to drama. What are you currently doing? Not doing? What are you currently taking responsibility for? Perhaps you have agreed to complete a lot more than you wish to?
- When you get set off by an episode, focus on grounding yourself. Don't cope with the drama until you can get involved without escalating your own emotional reaction.
- Facilitate a healthier outcome by focusing on principles - respect, honesty, and making agreements that work. Recognize that the more intense the drama, the harder it is to get people to come up with a healthier outcome.
-If you are too near to the issue accessible, obtain a facilitator or executive coach to facilitate healthy dialogue.
No comments:
Post a Comment